“Mathematics is a place where you can do things which you can’t do in the real world.” - Marcus du Sautoy
My name is Laura and I’m a 21 year old who studies astrophysics at university, and math is one of the things I think defines me most as a person. Given that it’s π day, I figured this might be an appropriate time to share why.
When I was 14 years old, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder NOS. When I was 15, I went though one of the largest depressive episodes I’ve ever had in my life. I found myself losing passion for the things I once used as an emotional release like art and music. I was extremely lonely, upset, and scared during this time, and had a lot of time to myself, and the thing about episodes is that there’s not much you can do to “fix” them except wait them out. It was incredibly easy to think of awful, negative things, and I no longer felt like I had a way to distract myself from it.
Until my trigonometry/pre-calculus class.
During that class, I realized that math was becoming more and more interesting to me because of how much time I had to myself. I started devoting a lot of time to that class - studying, doing my homework meticulously, and learning all I could about theory. I didn’t want to know that they work, I wanted to know how and why. I began to love working symbolically, and would feel an overwhelming sense of pride when I finally understood concepts fully.
I began to see my mental health improving drastically the deeper I got into math. I had begun to use mathematics as a coping mechanism for my depression. Math had patterns, rules, order, and structure, things that I felt I was missing in my life because of how chaotic it had become. Math didn’t require me to feel - when I spent time working out problems, I no longer had space in my brain to actively think negative thoughts. I stopped feeling lonely in the moments when I would focus on my homework.
Understanding math made me feel like I was doing something with myself, and as cheesy as it might sound to some people, it made me feel like I had a reason to exist.
And I still feel these things. When life becomes hectic and I feel out of control, mathematics is something that makes me feel like I have order. Mathematics makes me feel like I can do anything. I’m so glad that I found this kind of comfort and love, because it’s become a fundamental part of who I am. It’s not an easy subject, and I don’t assume that people will all feel the same as me about it, but mathematics is something I love fully and something I think is one of the greatest things ever created.
I wish you all a very happy π day!!! <3







